This is a blog post I never thought I'd write. I don't really know how to say what I need to say so I will just let the words flow out as my head and heart says them.
Matt and I have separated. A horrid sentence I know. I'm sorry to anyone who will feel sad reading that. I feel sad reading that too. Sad but alright. Alright because I know it was the correct thing to do.
We separated mid 2014 but have kept it to our nearest and dearest whilst we adjust to this new way of living, I'm sure you'll all understand and appreciate that. I wanted to tell you but also I cherished the privacy. I will still cherish the privacy because I won't talk about this very much and nor will he.
I won't spend a great deal of time going into why we have made this decision and I won't be answering questions on the topic (so please, don't leave any), but I will say this - Nobody is a villain or victim. Neither of us did a 'bad thing' (yanno, the classics like affairs or abuse etc) and neither of us hate each other. We are on extremely good terms actually.
As we have grown up, we have grown apart. We are very different people now and whilst I still love and care about Matt very, very much, it wasn't working. I know things like vlogs and blog posts can make things look perfect but just like anyone, our lives were not perfect and despite our best efforts, it just didn't work. Matt and I met in in 2004 and became a couple in 2005 and after 10 years, things are different. We're different. We have grown into people who just don't fit each other anymore. We tried for a long, long time, very, very hard to grow back together but sometimes you can't force a thing. Sometimes it's best to know when enough is enough and move forward with a new plan.
Our new plan is to be good friends who live apart but co-parent a very beautiful Daughter peacefully, lovingly, carefully and always united. We still spend time as a three and enjoy days out together. In fact, we're been on two holidays together since our decision and they have been lovely.
It would have been really easy to go on longer not telling you this because it's not hard to distort the truth with clever editing or just being careful with what you say on camera but I didn't want to. I feel like the months I have had to keep this private have been enough and now I can tell you, move forward and carry on with my channels and blog and projects.
You may well see Matt in some of my future videos and if you follow him on his platforms, you'll see him there too.
I don't like to ask a lot from you but I will ask these few things if that's alright?
Please do not be mean to either one of us. Neither of us have done anything wrong at all.
Please do not make a fuss or drama. It's a really hard thing to tell you and I'm trusting that you will be cool with this. :)
Please be mindful with what you say about this. Our Daughter will one day grow up and could search for this and see your comments.
Please do not assume that every male/female you see each of us with is a potential partner. Neither of us are in new relationships and if that ever happens, we'll tell you when we're ready.
We are both fine and totally supported. This could seem shocking to you but we've had months and weeks to sort ourselves out so we're already at the, 'Phew! I feel OK actually' stage. Yay!
I am so, so, so eternally sorry to anyone who feels upset or let down by this. I feel so much pressure to be perfect because I see your comments of love for my family. I wish I could have lived up to them.
This post was hard and sad to write. Please do not leave a comment, I would prefer not to read any opinions (good or bad) on this topic, I would just like to tell you and move completely on. This is hard.
Thank you for always being such a comfort. There have been many times over the last few months when I have been down or stressed and without you knowing how much I needed you, you have soothed and cheered in your wonderful sparkly way.
Big loves to you and also to Matt. Here's to a bright new future of peace and happiness.